Tonight I'll be @ Sonoma's Bar And Grille, to do a verse/feature with Pizzle and Young Left. If all goes right this song will appear on the next Street Radio (part 3).

I have been working on some original songs......I'm going through alot personally/emotionally right now, and honestly its affecting my writing. I'm saying things in my lyrics that I don't necessarily wanna share/disclose. But I can't help but wonder if I'm going through this tough time in my life in order for me to talk about certain things in my music?

For the first time in awhile, I am really depressed, and sad.........its fuckin with me, because I feel like I should be able to just let things roll off my back. But my current situation has me re-evaluating certain friendships, people's motives (as far as dealing with me), how close I get to people, etc.....

Sick as shit....but life must go on

Damn.......I don't get sick often, but when I do.....I'm sick as shit for real. I seriously believe that you really find out who loves you when you are sick. For 1, I am miserable when I am sick, so anyone who is around me, is ONLY there because they care, and WANT to be there. For 2, I don't feel like doing anything, so whomever asists in my getting well, knows that they can expect absolutely NOTHING from me at that time. For 3, I look like "Who the hell shot Sally" when I am sick. Funny, but oh so true. I am suffereing from extreme exhaustion and fatigue for real. My throat is killing me, and I have a fever.

My job sent me home from work yesterday.......and only 2 people even called to check on me. And of the two, one of them even came by to bring me some soup (which was sooooooo unexpected, but so appreciated) Now I'm not saying this to whine "Oh poor ShellBe" n shit.......I just find it interesting at how much my phone rings when I can do shit for people, vs. when I need people to do something for me!

Either way, everyday more and more is revealed to me about the people whom I surround myself with, I'm just glad that I am getting to see it BEFORE the real dough starts coming in.

On the music-tip............I am currently in a writing frenzy, I have been working on a few songs and a few freestyles for different mixtapes I have been asked to appear on. I'm getting ready to just go into the studio and have a nice 4-6 hour session SOLO........all ME!!!! I am also preparing for my two upcoming shows in mid-February (Feb. 11, Pittsburgh, PA and Feb. 19 Cambridge, MA) I have also been working on my LOOK sorta heavy, since January 1st of this year, I have dropped 12 lbs.....which isn't too bad. If I can drop 8-10 lbs a month, by May/June I should be where I want to be. After February, I might start to post pictures. I have been going to the gym 5-6x a week, and I am trying this new sort of calorie-counting method, of which I think is GREAT because its a lifestyle change, not a DIET. Improving my appearance is definitely going to have a huge affect on my stage show, and my music in general.......if people think I'm cocky now, wait till they see how I do, when I'm REALLY doin'it! LOL

As far as the love-life is concerned...........lately I've really picked up on the fact that dude I was interested in wouldn't know a good thing if it slapped him in the face and said "I'm a good thing bitch, don't you see me?" so no sense in sticking around to see when he's gonna wise-up. So I'm off that one! On another note, I recently met this other dude, who is actually from Boston(YEAH!!!!!), and we seem to be hitting it off well......but he's like 3, ok maybe 4 years younger than me. LOL........I've never dated anyone younger than me, ever! But he seems to be mature, and I've noticed he is more upfront with his feelings. He's very blunt when he doesn't like something, and he just says whats on his mind............if he missed talking to me for a few days, he says that he missed talking to me. I gotta admit thats pretty refreshing! However, I vowed to stay away from industry affiliated people, and he is definitely affiliated with MUSIC. So we'll see what happens, at least he's located in Boston tho!!!!!

Got a meeting tonight with Mike Mac and the Street Radio Team...to discuss the upcoming installment of the very successful Street Radio mixtape series! I am very excited about this.....I'm anxious to know what is going to be said.

Then there's "Stylewars" the monthly MC battle put on by Elementsparty. I wasn't able to make it last month, so I definitely gotta try to muster up some strength to make it out there tonight. We'll see.......hopefully I can ride with Ogun, cuz my car is really acting up right now. Eitherway, I'll try to pull something off!

Constantly Improving

YYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

My hair is actually growing back.......I think I've proven that I can rock the short hair and still be cute. Now I want to go back to my long hair. It's gonna be so much more challenging (performance-wise) cuz my hair sweats out easily! But I'm tryna soften my look a little, and I think the longer hair will definitely help.

Either way, last night I had a recoding session with Pizzle (a.k.a. Baby Pa) and Young Left (a.k.a. Kid Twist) and it went great. We got a nice little mixtape joint called "Tripple Threat"...........3 very different MCs, from 3 different cities, with 3 different flows. It was so much fun too!

I plan on having a serious recording session "SOLO" in the next 2 weeks......so that will be my main focus for this next week and 1/2.

Sometime its the smallest things that matter......

Last night at the show, I did my thing for the most part. I messed up on my second verse in RAW........which is crazy cuz its my anthem, and I perform that song almost every single time I perform. All day, (prior to the performance) I was worried about debuting the NEW song "Round Here" (a mixtape joint actually) and I did that song PERFECTLY................What The F*CK???? That small mess up, got me in a tizzy today for real. I know that I can't be perfect, but I'll be damned if I won't TRY to be. Well anyway....My bestfriend Ogun came to hold me down on the back up tip.....and that was fun. I was definitely feeding off of his energy, and since we have great chemistry, our vibe was excellent. My girl Symph held me down on "You Rollin'" and that's always fun! Nina (Roxxi of Tha Plague)was also in the building. My homeboy EJ did his thing.....no doubt! Now as for Ms. Kitty, she is definitely not my type of female rapper........she is on that selling sex tip, I can't dig that. But I respect her as an artist. I thought her songs were definitely good, but I wasn't feeling her performance......but then again, it wasn't for me, the fellas loved it. So thats good for her and her movement. Big Ups to Ms. Kitty!

Well there's the update..........Thats it for today!

A lil nervous......why?

Well tonight I have a show at the 5 Seasons, and guess what I'm actually a little bit nervous. For real, I don't know how to deal with this. I haven't been seriously nervous since my 1st show (October 2004), so I'm just tryna get in my zone.......cuz this nervousness got me a lil on the edge. It's crazy cuz it's the 5 Seasons.........I've performed here numerous times. For the most part the crowd will be comprised of familiar faces, some hometown celebs, and a few strangers....nothing to be this nervous about. I am debuting a new song, but STILL. I don't know......I'll have to post something about the show afterwards (maybe by then I'll know whats the deal)

I cam across this quote today, and it really made me feel better about my progress:
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out..."
~ Robert Collier
That is real talk. I have made a commitment to doing something for my music EVERY SINGLE DAY......and ever since I've made that commitment, lots of oppurtunities have been coming my way. 06 is the year for building......I am preparing myself thoroughly for the music industry. LOOKS-wise, MIND-wise, MUSIC-wise, etc. I have been doing a lot of thinking.....and what good would it do for me to be discovered at a time when I am not ready? I want to be prepared......cuz in this biz, you get one chance, I don't wanna blow my one chance. Just a lil food for thought!

Either way, I am experiencing a little writers block right now, I have so many ideas in my head..........but the words aren't coming right now. This is frustrating as well because its NEVER happened to me before. I think I just need to get some more sleep (I have been running off of 4 hours or less since October of 05), and now that the excercise-jumpoff is in full effect, its even worse. Speaking of excercise, I'm thinking about posting my weight-loss progress pics.........that is gonna take a lot of guts tho! LOL.........maybe once I'm closer to my goal weight/look! You'll just have to keep checking back to see!!!

Introducing the new STAR in my life: "Natalia"

Allow me to introduce you to my new God Daughter: NATALIA CHIMONNEY SIKA

Born on Tuesday - January 10, 2006.

She is the beautiful daughter of my (female)Best Friend Kemarah, and her boyfriend Laurent. It really is funny how life turns out.......I was always the one who wanted kids, and marriage. Kemarah wanted to grow old with 52 cats, and have a career. But look at us now, I am persuing a music career............and she's in love, and just gave birth to my second God child.

BTW, my first God daughter's name is JANAISHA DIYANIE DELCOMPARE-COPELAND. Matter of fact look at my lil angel !! (and her mom, my CLOSE friend Monique)

She will be 4, on February 17th.....of which I am going home to Boston for her huge birthday extravaganza (and a show I have on the 19th.........details coming soon!)

I don't even need kids cuz I have them two. They are enough!!!! LOL .....Naisha is so grown, and has sooooooo much personality. And Natalia put Kemarah thru a bunch of shit when she was pregnant so I know she's gonna be a handful!!! Either way, I gotta provide for them two, and their moms............so that's even more motivation to make it big in the music biz!

As for music, went to the studio last night and laid some HEAT down. Did a freestyle joint with XO that is gonna shock some people. I also laid my verse down for "WHAT" a 360 banger for the next project. I'm working on my song with Baby Pa, and I got a meeting with Bosslady, concerning the future of Tipsy Tuesdays (where I will be the host). My website is being improved daily so check it out..... www.ShellBeRAW.com

I also have a show on Monday @ the 5 Seasons (830 Guillford Avenue, Baltimore, MD ....10pm) Ms. Kitty, and EJ will also be performing.......come check me out if you can!

Oh yeah, there will be a story on me, at www.imagecollege.com very soon. It's called "RAW Hip Hop"............so keep an eye out for that!

Well I'll be back with more updates soon! PEACE

Happy B-Day Fingaz ......no Drinks for ME tho!

Yesterday was Fingaz B-Day...........so we all went out to
I must say the food was delicious, and our waitress "Misty" was very knowledgable of the Drink menu. :( :( :( Can I just say that I felt like a recovering alcoholic who was in an All-You-Can-Drink Bar! "JollyRanchers", "Hurricanes", "Petrones", "Sambuccas", and there were even "Zinfandels" courtesy of TALAL. Nothing for ShellBe, cuz ShellBe is on the HipHop fitness tip!!! I guess its all for the greater good, right? Well anyway, you know you can't be at a Black Restaurant without seeing something like this right.....
Now, you gotta admit, that shit is funny!!!! All that money they makin', and Ray Lewis got........and they still used the menus that they had to correct. And the correction was made b hand, with a pen!!! LMAO

Either way, the purpose of this Blog is to update you on my budding music career so here's whats been happening so far:
(1) My website has been updated so check it out www.ShellBeRAW.com

(2) I am working on a Song produced by P (also known as Baby Pa) that is going to be very BIG

(3) I am going to the studio Monday to do a hook for Kode Street

(4) I will also be @ the 5 Seasons (Guillford Avenue, Baltimore,MD) Monday for The OldSchool HipHop night, as always I will have cd's for sale!

(5) I will be meeting with distinguished vocalist "Destini" on Tuesday to work on a few songs as well.

(6) I am currently being interviewed to be featured on www.imagecollegemag.com

*All of this, Along with other internet promotional stuff, additional songs, etc...........you know I stay busy!!!

Happy New Year

I know........I'm a day late right! LOL....well let me fill you in on the festivities. First of all, I had to work the second job until 7:30pm. Wasn't happy about that shit, but hey.....gotta make that money right? Got off work, went home, and cleaned my room (not for real, but you know threw all the visible shit under my bed and just made up my bed real nice....LOL), picked out something to wear, showered got dressed, and started putting the food out. This was the first year in about 5 years that I didn't go to the club and/or church to celebrate the New Year.

I have been making a lot of changes in my life, so I wanted to bring the New Year in differently. I invited a few close friends, associates, and co-workers to my "Club Alternative New Years Eve Soiree'". We had lots of liquor, appetizers/snacks, and GREAT conversation. My house wasn't packed with a bunch of people I could care less about. It was slightly full with the few people that I know are REALLY in my corner. We had soooooooo much fun, just shootin'the shit about miscellaneous things. The party didn't end until 6:30am...........did I mention that I had to be at work by 9:45am. Thanks for the wake up call Mr. and Mrs. P-Funk.

All in all, I brought my year in the right way, MY way..........

P.S. I started another tradition as well, I have a paper on my door that says: "YOU'RE......" and I ask people to continue the phrase by saying 'what' they thought I was.
People put some really interesting and encouraging things!

This sign on my door is a constant reminder of how people view me in such a positive light, it really is inspirationsl!