Quoting Myself

I'm gonna start this entry off by quoting myself...................In my first entry I said:

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"Why Did You Start This Blog?"
"The answer is simply .......because I want to give people a chance to read about an actual account of a person's rise from an Aspiring Artist to a HipHop Super Star. In this blog I will give you all the updates with my progress........and I promise to keep it as real as I can, without defaming anyone elses character/persona in the process."
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The hardest thing in life to do, is to live by your OWN convictions. Yesterday I kept it ultra-REAL........but I wonder if I defamed someone elses character in the process???

Here's what I said:
I guess I can't speak my mind around here.....somebody is sooooo
threatened by that! LOL

What What wrote:
you really arent trying to see me [in any way] so you should stop
talking shit!

Is this right Ms. HipHop Ambassador???

I'm curious What exactly can YOU do to ME? I'm not about to
cyber-beef with you.........if you wanna handle this dispute like grown women I
can be contacted via phone: 443-854-7375 (after 6:30pm please, I'm at work)
or in person...........I'm sure you know at least ONE person who knows
very well where I live

I swear.........You are a manifestation of my bars:
"You ain't a friend to me, so F*CK ya feelings/
When You're a phony ass bitch, time will reveal it/"

Damn......after reading the last line (before my bars), that was kinda harsh.....but I was tryna piss her off for real. LOL, let me stop.........that was jus a smidgeon immature, just a smidge tho!

Well anyway........I got into it with a fellow female Hip Hopper. But let's keep it funky, my name is ShellBe RAW for more reasons than I think people realize. Yesterday, most of my comments and reactions to her comments were "RAW" and I was reacting off of "RAW" emotions. However, I'm woman enough to say that some of my actions/comments were very confrontational and a little harsh........but honestly sometimes I think people need that. Sometimes the nice approach doesn't always work. Sometimes you just need to get some shit off your chest. Sometimes you have to embarass the shit out of somebody. I feel like I probably embarassed her by shedding light on an aspect of her and her personality that she tends to keep in the dark. The fact that I did that, probably made her feel like she needed to up the anty a little. On a certain message board, I encouraged her to reach out to me (because I seen absolutely no resolution from a back-n-forth on the internet), I guess she took that as me calling her out and challenging her to a brawl. That wasn't my intentions at all.............truth be told me and her have somewhat of a history, and that makes everything she or I says (online) THAT much MORE personal. I felt like we probably needed to meet face to face, and let it all out. If she needed to call me a bitch, let her do that to my face.......shake that shit off, have everything out in the open and keep it moving afterwards! Ya know?

I am known for exposing people, but what I'm learning is that, this isn't always my responsibility. Things that are shown to me are not always meant for others to see. So maybe I need to just let people stay in the dark about things and people they deal with.....thats the conclusion I'm coming to.

But either way, this situation has shown/taught me alot. I received numerous phone calls from people that 'genuinely' care about me and my well-being. They encouraged me, and said "its not worth it....this is bulllshit, and you are doing your thing right now." For those that did that, I fux wit you heavy! But you already that and me, thats why you called me! Now of course, I also got the nosey phone calls from peeps who just wanted to know what was going on; and even those whose sole purpose was to try an escalate the supposed-'beef' to an actual altercation. I don't claim to be gangsta, by any means.........I'm not about justifying my gangsta (or anything else about me) to anyone. If I am going to fight someone, I will........there will be no plans, no scheduled meetings, etc. If I see you all the time, and we never go at it on a physical.....you are obviously a non-issue to me (as I am assuming I am a non-issue to you as well). I fight everyday: to stay alive, to make my dream happen, etc. I have no time for any type of altercation with anyone who is not stopping my cashflow, or adding to it. For real, I'm actually proud of the fact that I don't live and die by what people say/think about me. Cuz I know right now, people wanna see an actual beef/fight, it gives them something to talk about. But when I make the papers I want it to be about my music, my grind, my vision, etc..........not some bullshit! Call it what you want..........it is what it is.

Yeah I'm a rapper/MC/HipHop Artist but hell no I don't fit the stereotype. My rap style is pretty aggressive at times, but I'm not in the street fighting everyday. I'm sexy (appearance-wise and musicly), but I'm not slutting myself out for a dollar. Yea rap is seen as tough.......but thats not what I'm trying to portray. I carry myself as a lady, and I think people actually dig that about me. Thats why GOD has placed me in an industry where I am going to be the ultimate contradiction! But here lies the GIFT and the CURSE. I am an oppinionated young woman, and I will always speak my mind..........NO MATTER WHO DOESN'T LIKE IT. But I have to learn when the battle isn't even worth fighting. Nothing is alive, until you (or someone) breathes "LIFE" into it. I chose to breathe life into a dead situation yesterday, but now I realize that is seriously is DEAD, and I've buried it. I have too much going for me right now, to let bullshit deter me.

So I'll close out with this:
I'm am about unity, therefore anyone who sincerely is about building and making it happen.........I will support you in anyway I can.

But reguardless of that, if I don't dig how you're moving, I just don't.........respect it, and I'll respect you........wait a minute I'm lying, I'll just ignore you. There are certain things I can't respect. I'm not saying thats right, but I'm honest. This what I am going to do tho, I'll take that old-school advice to heart: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" ........I'm just gonna keep my comments to myeslf when it comes to certain issues and/or people if it isn't something positive! I don't want to be a part of the problem, I want to be a part of the solution!

So.......
You do you, I'll do me! I can agree to disagree. We CAN all co-exist! There is a place for everyone, diversity makes the world interesting!

On a much brighter note..........the girl has lost a total of 12lbs since January 2nd, 2006. Here's what I'm looking like now!!!





Yeah........this summer is gonna be off the hook, I'm tryna get bathingsuit ready! I'm working hard for real tho.....LOL

I also have a few shows coming up:
Saturday February 25, 2006 - Sonoma's (Columbia, MD)
Thursday March 2, 2006 - 5 Seasons (Baltimore, MD)
Saturday March 4, 2006 - Belvedere Hotel (Baltimore, MD)
Sunday March 5, 2006 - Club 429 (Baltimore, MD)
Friday March 10, 2006 - 5 Seasons (baltimore, MD)


Thanks for tuning in people........I do appreciate the love and support. Your comments make me feel like this blog does serve a purpose. So continue to support ShellBe RAW! I love y'all!