Bullshit sucks, but the end result is GREAT !!!

I have had a certain beat for months now.....and from the moment I first heard it, I was in love. But much like love with an actual person, this beat done put me through some shit! LOL
First of all at one point, I lost the beat cd (which is soooooooo not like me). Then once I got another copy, I had difficulty writing. I knew what I wanted to say, but it just wasn't comin out right. After the song was written and I had gotten my flow right, I had to wait for Imahj (the Producer, he's with ARS Productions) to go to Mike and track the beat out at the studio. After that was taken care of, I had to work around Mike's already extremely busy schedule to get studio time. When I finally got some time, I went in and my vibe was all wrong.........I don't know if its because the song wasn't as fresh, or if I had a bad day, or what; but my shit was definitely OFF. This was frustrating to say the least, because I'm usually GREAT at recording, I'm organized (I know exactly what I wanna do, and how to execute it), and I do things in a very timely manner. So I ended up leaving that day with just a rough copy.

But all in all, I guess things happen for a reason. My fumble in the studio occured about a month ago, so I had an entire month to marinate on the song, perfect it, and make the necessary changes. I went back into the studio last night. I was pressed to get out because I wanted to go to StyleWarz (which didn't end up happening), so I really had it in my mind that I was gonna get in, and get right out. Mike was finishing up his last session, so I had extra time to go over my verses. As soon as I was about to go into the booth, Ogun (my bestfriend, who also happens to be an artist) came through to show some support......which was great. His presence, always makes my studio session THAT much better. He didn't stay for the entire session, cuz he had to go to Stylewarz.....but during his time there he gave me some pointers, and some beneficial advice about cadence and delivery. Shortly after his departure, I knocked the song out, and Mike was definitely feeling it. I was very satisfied with my song at the end of the session. I had to go through a lot of bullshit, but the end result was a great song that will possibly go on my album. BTW, the song being mentioned is entitled "I'm Addicted" ......I bet you're wondering what I'm addicted TO, right??? You'll have to wait and see.....I mean hear!

Ink Me Baby.....

Yes, it is official...........I have been branded for life. Today after working 9 1/2 hours at my 2nd job (the job that I took in order to have more money to spend on my music) , I met up with Fingaz, Talal, and Gutta. WE went to the tattoo parlor and I told em "Ink me baby!!!" LOL
I already have three tattoos, that I acquired over 6 years (from the time I was 16-21); and would you believe that I ended up getting three in this one night/session.

I got:

(1) ShellBe (written in a pretty script-ish cursive) on my right outside wrist



(2) RAW (written in the same pretty script-ish cursive) on my left outside wrist


(3) 360 (in this old english-ish type font, just like Fingaz.......the inside is a faded color-in)on my left inside wrist


Can I just say that they look soooooooooooo slick. LOL! For the record I think "ShellBe RAW"looks very pretty and feminine.........yet serious! The "360" looks sooooooooooo hard, Fingaz said he's even thinking about fading his "360"to look like mine. Talal, Gutta, and Rell got some big shoes to fill, cuz I set the bar kinda high with mine. I think Talal will be next, and I know he'll come up with something creative, but I think we're all sticking to the same font!

But seriously this is a big deal. There is no turning back, I feel like no matter what I have to always be doing something for ShellBe RAW, and always representing her. Then, no matter what 360 is my family. I don't care how many times we fuss, fight, bullshit, argue.......we are always there for one another. I don't care what happens in the future......360 will always be a huge part of me, and my career..........cuz if they piss me off, I'll just be like GAME (a disgruntled employee, for about 4 albums!!!!) No sah, them my niggaz for life!

When I was being tattooed today, I felt that much more connected, and serious about my music career. I felt like damn, I am really making the decision to BRAND myself, literally. I really AM: ShellBe RAW. Maybe I'm over-thinking this, but this seems sooooooooo huge to me! Unlike most artists, I didn't wait for others to validate my gangsta as far as my music, and me just being ShellBe RAW. I don't need to wait until I'm signed to really be all about ShellBe RAW. I am her NOW, and I got the tat's to prove it!!

Shouldn't we keep the feeling of X-Mas.....

going year-round? It is the one time throughout the year where folk are thinking about others before themselves. Giving is more important than receiving. Family is more important than work. I love seeing all the families shopping, and kids excited about "Santa". But why do we need one day to lead us in that direction? I think that we would get more out of our realtionships with one another if we treated everyday as if it were Christmas.

I can't even front, I was not excited about Christmas this year.........it's the first year that I didn't have a boyfriend to share it with, I wasn't going home to Boston to see my family, and everyone around me is broke so I know gifts would be at a minimum if anything at all. However I just got a wake up call from Ebony (Fingaz wife), so now I'm off to go have Christmas breakfast with my 360 family. I swear being with those guys has taught me a lot about unconditional love........cuz no matter how much they make me mad, or we don't see eye to eye on something......we ride for eachother and always have eachother's backs.

I wrapped my few gifts up last night...........I usually try to buy any and everyone something, cuz I like to make people feel special. But this year I focused on the people that make ME feel special all the time. Money wasn't really a big deal, I had a couple of dollars, but I bought gifts that were very thoughtful and in some cases, I made gifts. For one person in particular, I wanted to let them know how much they meant to me.......so everything I gave them was hand-made and had a meaning behind it. Much to my surprise that person was very touched by that sentiment. So it definitely isn't about money yall!!!

As for HipHop, I gave some people autographed copies of my cd!!!! Slick huh? LOL...... Nah but for real, today I have a feeling that I'll be writing a hit, I just feel it. I met a producer by the name of Baby Pa (that really is his name though) at Club Sonar when I performed on Thursday........he bought a cd from me. Yesterday he called and said he sampled my voice from a song on that cd, and made me a beat. he was so excited that he came to my job to bring me the beat! I heard it and its pretty alright........the way he sampled my voice is definitely hot. So I think I'll work on that later on today, along with getting some presskits assembled and ready to be sent on Monday after the holiday! I'll probably get up with Talal and write tonight as well.

Anyways............Merry Chritmas, Happy Holidays, and all that good stuff!!!

MaMa RAW represents in B-More

Two days ago, I had a show at the Sonar Lounge in downtown Baltimore city. This show like many other shows was a hop, skip, and a jump away from an 'Open Mic' but for some reason it felt different. For one, I had a new outfit; for two, the entire 360.......except for Rell was there; my cousin Beth finally left the house, and came to the show; and most importantly my mom was there. Look at her....damn we look alike, at least I know I'm gonna be fine when I get to be her age! LOL!!!!!!

I think that I wasn't completely believing in myself because I knew that my parents weren't completely accepting of my decision to "seriously" persue music. Coincidently, about a week ago I decided to put school on hold, and completely thrust myself into my music. I had been struggling with this decision for awhile, but I really felt like it was time to just say F*CK IT!!!! So I came clean to my mom, she heard me out and then told me that she has never seen me be so interested in anything like this before. Then she mentioned that she wanted to see me perform, in order to see what I was really capable of. So I went online and found her a flight from Boston, for $200. I booked the flight, and told her it was her Christmas present. I really coulda used that $200 on some much needed covers for my cd's, but after the feedback I got from my mother, following my performance..................I can't front it was $200 well spent.

My mom was dressed in the nice " www.ShellBeRAW.com " T-Shirt. She honestly looked like a fish out of water for real, but she was there to see her baby, so you can't be mad at that! When I was on stage performing, I kept making eye contact with her. Its almost as if no one else was there. For some strange reason, I felt like this was the only chance I had to make my mother believe in me, and my dream. So I went extra hard........to the point that I still have no voice today!! It paid off, I got some great feedback from people in the audience, and as soon as I stepped off the stage my mom greated me with her look of approval. Her exact words were "Wow, you really do have a gift. You looked so natural on that stage. I'm your mother, and I felt like I was meeting an entirely different DeDe when I seen you perform, you're like a whole different person on stage"........... Yeah 'DeDe' is what my family calls me...........but don't get any ideas :) Then get this one, she says: "You really ARE the shit".............my mom don't even cuss at all, so I was really shocked at this remark. But it felt so good........I can't even front. No matter how many people support me, or compliment me; it just meant so much to have my mom's support! Now that I am fully equipped with my mom's complete acceptance, approval, and support.......I think I'm ready for the next level!

Why I started this Blog.........

Let's start with some Basic Info about me......

Stage Name: ShellBe RAW
Length of Career: 1 year, and 7 months
Current/Upcoming Project(s): I recently released SOLO sampler cd entitled www.ShellBeRAW.com "The Soundtrack". I am also in the process of writing and recording for: the Hamsterdam Vol. 2 mixtape, the Gritty Gang Mixtape, the Street Radio Vol. 3 mixtape, and my upcoming debut SOLO album.

Now onto the question of the day......."Why Did You Start This Blog?"
The answer is simply .......because I want to give people a chance to read about an actual account of a person's rise from an Aspiring Artist to a HipHop Super Star. In this blog I will give you all the updates with my progress........and I promise to keep it as real as I can, without defaming anyone elses character/persona in the process. Feel free to email me, or comment on whatever is posted in my Blog, or anything found on my website: www.ShellBeRAW.com

I can't promise that I'll update this blog EVERYday, but I will do my best to give the play-by-play of what is going on with me and my music.